2.27.2010

Hot Flashes!

As you know, I'm not on any stims this month, I'm on the bench due to a cyst.  The only real symptom I got while on Clomid the past 3 cycles was hot flashes about 3-5 days after I finished my last pill and it only lasted for one day.  Yesterday was cd13, would have been 4 days after my last pill had I been on it this cycle and I had hot flashes off and on ALL DAY LONG.  I was miserable.  They were the kind that made your head ache, your stomach flip/flop and I literally had to go outside in the freezing cold, blowing 40 mph winds to cool down.  What gives?  Is this normal?  To have 'residual' side effects from a med I'm not even taking anymore?  I mean, I can understand if it was a side effect I was having daily or very regularly.  But it's not.  It was a one day thing during those Clomid cycles and here it is - doing the same thing.  Hopefully thise means I'll still ovulate this cycle :)

Thank you to all of you who left me such sweet comments on my previous blog. I didn't get home until about 11pm last night so I haven't had an opportunity to respond to those comments or read blogs posted throughout the day yesterday. I have a really busy weekend and don't know when I'll get to catch up. I am demonstrating a Stampin' Up! workshop today then going to my folks for dinner and tomorrow we have a full day of plans with friends/family to celebrate both my Mom & Dad's 50th birthdays (Mom's was in Feb/Dad's is in Mar) so we'll be gone all day.

I hope you have a fantastic weekend! 
Read More......

2.25.2010

Pretties

Do you remember when I shared with you this card that I made for my Mom's 50th birthday?  I found a really great template for a cool "flip" card that I wanted to make.  So, here's my creation:


This is the "front" of the card - if you pull on the ribbon tab, the center piece "flips" and this is what you see on the back side:


Pretty sweet, huh?
And it was SOOO easy!
I'm demonstrating the "flip" card at my workshop this weekend.  I'm excited to share it with my customers - I think they will really love it!  It's completely different than anything we've done before.  And it's soooo versitile.

Anyone interested in seeing how it's done?  If so let me know and I'll send you the step by step instructions.

Since my journey with TTC began, I've been carrying a notebook with me to my appointments with jotted notes and appt. reminders.  I like to write questions I have for my dr. in it so that I don't forget to ask when I go, etc.  The receptionist at my RE's office calls it my "Magic Notebook".  Well, I wanted to dress it up, make it more presentable for all of it's appearances. 

So I present to you, my Fertility Journal


Oops - it says "Card Created by" and obviously it isn't a card but I'm too lazy to change it.  You get the idea.  So what do you think?  I'm excited to show it off at my appointment on Tuesday!

Do you think there's a market for these?  I mean, I love playing with ink/stamps/paper/scissors/glue - why not share it with others? 
Read More......

Photo Survey

You won't see many of these on my blog but I saw one today and thought "what the hell?".  I have nothing else to blog about today.  So - here goes.

What is the first letter of your name?


How old are you?



In what city were you born?

Elizabeth City, N.C.
(you know, where Ricky Braddy from last year's American Idol is from?)


Where did you graduate high school?

Kodiak High School in Kodiak, Alaska


Where do you live now?
A Very Beautiful Small Town in North Carolina


What was your first car?

A very awesome 1973 Datsun Pickup - in orange


What are you driving these days?

2007 Toyota Camry
stupid recalls


What is your favorite food?
Mexican - YUMMY!


What celebrity are you often told you look like?

Moreso when we were both younger ...
maybe if I lost some weight I would look like her again?


Who is your celebrity crush?

No hesitation, without a doubt
Johnny Sexy Hubba Hubba Depp
YUMMMM-MMY!  mmm mmm mmmmm!


What is your worst habit?


What is your biggest goal in life?

To have a baby


So, if you are bored and have nothing to blog about, try this out on your blog!

I'm watching "The View" ; I just happen to catch that their show today is entirely about Fertility Issues.  I wish I had known ahead of time and I could have alerted everyone sooner. 
Read More......

2.24.2010

A letter to my kitty

Dear Orion,

Your cuteness does not give you a free pass to be a pain in the ass at 4 a.m. The fact that you feel it's time to eat at your beckon call does not mean I think so, too.

Sitting outside my bedroom door and meowing and meowing and meowing only makes me cranky. Do I meow at you while you are sleeping all day? Do I get in your face when it's time for me to eat?

Don't you think it's enough that I feed you twice a day and clean up your poop!  I don't do that for just anyone, ya know.

Quit giving me those big brown kitty eyes, you know I can't resist the cuteness. You are not the boss of me!


Ok, ok, maybe you are.

Is it possible he's prepping me to be a Mom?

I still love you.  But give me a break, buddy!

Your Maid/Momma,

Read More......

2.23.2010

Bloodwork Comparisons

This may not be the most fun or most interesting blog I've ever written but I am hoping I can get some insight on my bloodwork.

4/14/09
1/11/10
1/17/10
2/16/10
LH
(ref: 0.0-76.3)
6.7
3.1 cd3
4.2 cd3
FSH
(ref: 2.5-10.2)
5.6
5.5 cd3
8.4 cd10
4.8 cd3
Estradiol
(ref: 12.5-211)
55
36.0 cd3
60.1 cd10
49.0 cd3
Hemoglobin A1C
(ref: less than 6.0%)
5.5%
Glucose
(ref: 70-99)
78
T3
(ref: 0.87-1.78)
1.09
T4
(ref: 0.58-1.64)
0.59
TSH
(ref: 0.34-4.82)
0.77
Hydroxyprogesterone
(ref: 30-100)
78
Dehydroepiandrosterone
(ref: 162-995)
1128 (high)
Insulin
(ref: 0.0-29.1)
19.4
Prolactin
(ref: 2.8-29.2)
7.1
Testosterone
(ref: 14-76)
60
Is it me or does my LH/FSH ratio look better than it used to? Read More......

2.22.2010

HSG Results

(drum roll, please)


After a 2nd push of dye -

I'M ALL CLEAR!!!!!!



The procedure wasn't too bad, I was really nervous though.   Apparently I was a little flush and the nurse was concerned about me at first but I was able to eventually relax.  Watching the video of the procecure was really cool, I wish I could have shared that with my husband.

Most of my cd3 bloodwork from last week came back:
FSH: 4.8
LH: 4.2
Estradiol: 49
Hemoglobin A1C: 5.5%

The dr. said of course the FSH/LH ratio is indicative of PCOS (which we already knew) and that everything else looked good.  Hooray!

I have a follow-up appt. next Tues afternoon for an u/s to check the status of that pesky cyst and make a plan for next cycle.  Read More......

HSG: T Minus 4 1/2 hrs


Sorry about the fugly cat but it very much illustrates how I'm feeling right about now.  I have spoken to many women who have had an HSG and most of them don't have any complaints, some of them said it was somewhat painful and very few of them said it was extremely painful and uncomfortable.  So in all honesty, I'm only sort of freaked out worried about any pain.  What I'm really truly scared about is what they might find.

I started my antibiotic yesterday just like my RE ordered.  I will take my 800mgs of Ibuprofen an hour before (even though it goes against my rule about no NSAIDS while ttc) and my Mom is going with me for moral support.  She recommended that I try to ask for a pill to relax me.  I wonder if they'll let me bring my iPod!  Music always relaxes me.

The drive is alittle more than an hour and we have to find parking in a parking garage and then walk a block or so to the center.  We're going to downtown Norfolk so anyone familiar with the area will understand my frustrations with that alone.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing at 1:30 EST, please have a brief moment of prayer/meditation/wishing on stars/crossing fingers (whatever it is you do) for me that all goes well and we get the ALL CLEAR to move forward. 

thank you!

Read More......

2.21.2010

Another Award!

Thanks Heather @ Journey Through Infertility and TTC for this sweet blogging award!

 

I originally "met" Heather on SoulCysters, she's answered a MILLION of my questions and is very friendly and helpful with every answer she gives.  She's a good friend to have!!!

Now, since I've accepted this award nomination, I must list 10 things that make my day and then list 10 blogs who deserve this award.  Wow - only 10?  If I nominate you, please do the same on your blog!

Ok, a-hem.  Here goes: 10 things that make my day
  1. My hubby waking me every morning (even at 4 a.m.) to kiss me and tell me loves me before he leaves for work 
  2. My hubby calling me during his brief lunch break to tell me he loves me
  3. Puppy kisses every morning from Gracie & Buddha, they hear my alarm go off and they know to wait until I lay my thermometer down before they can get in my face - they are so smart!
  4. Checking my blog/facebook/twitter and receiving such sweet and encouraging comments
  5. Listening to 80s music while I do chores and take my shower and hearing a really good song I completely forgot about
  6. My hubby calling me every day just after he leaves work to tell me he's on his way home
  7. That big hug and kiss hubs gives me as soon as he walks in the door from work - every single day
  8. A really hot shower with good smelly body wash
  9. Forgetting that it's payday and realizing that we were paid (wahoo!)
  10. Climbing into bed with my husband and cuddling
For my list of 10 Deserving Blogs:
  1. A real life friend, Anna (she's not an IF'er but still deserving of this award for her blog)
  2. A + B, wating for C
  3. A Mum At Heart
  4. Busted Plumbing
  5. Diary of A Stork Stalker
  6. Fertility Chick
  7. Finding Family With Empty Arms
  8. Inconceivable
  9. No Lingerie Here
  10. Trying To Get Knocked Up By Another Man
Enjoy!
Read More......

My 1st Night Using Circle+Bloom

Last night as I laid down to sleep, I listened to the intro and day 1 programs of Circle+Bloom.  It was one of the most relaxing experiences I have EVER had!  If it does nothing for my fertility (which I'm pretty sure it will!) it at the very least improved my sleep with just the first use!  I like to lay in bed at night and reply my day, over and over again.  What if I did this instead?  What could I have done differently?  What do I need to do tomorrow?  OMG, what will happen if I don't get this done?  Can we pay all the bills this month?  Laundry needs to be done!  Am I falling behind on work?  I wish I was skinny!  Why can't I have a baby?  Etc, etc, etc.  And I toss and turn for hours before falling to sleep out of pure exhaustion.  Every. Single. Night.

Not last night baby!

As soon as the program was over, I placed my iPod on the bedside table and that is literally the last thing I remember.  I didn't even wake up once in the middle of the night.  Next thing I know, my alarm was going off for me to take my BBT.  I feel so refreshed this morning, my back doesn't even hurt as bad as it did yesterday!

Circle+Bloom has become my new bedtime routine!  You have got to get yourself a copy of this program! Read More......

2.20.2010

It's Like Christmas Morn!

Look what I got in the mail today:


It's the iPod Shuffle & Full Circle + Bloom Program that I won from the giveaway that Kate @ Busted Reviews did recently!  Thank you so much Kate!!!!!

I'm so excited to start using the program, I've heard such awesome things about it!  I will definitely be blogging about this a lot so be forewarned! :-)  I've listened to the free trial that you can pick up here (if you haven't yet, you really outta!) and I know this is going to not only improve my sleep, but reduce stress and allow my husband and I to relax enough to make a healthy baby very soon!

I also want to thank Joanne @ Circle + Bloom for sending my gift out so quickly!  I look forward to sharing a success story with her very soon!

To make this awesome day even more awesome, I spent most of it playing with my Stampin' Up! supplies creating a card for my Mom's 50th birthday and one of the make and takes for my workshop next weekend. 

Here's the card I made my Mom - isn't it pretty??



Now the hubs and I are chillin' at home, he's watching "Blow" and I'm going to play with some digital graphics.  I have been working on another blog that displays my digital art and I'll share the link with everyone once I have it up and running. 

Have a fantastic night!  --xxx--
Read More......

Hooray for Saturday!

FMU HPT: BFN   [poo]

My HSG is scheduled for Monday and the dr. is aware of how light AF was so maybe they'll do a blood test first.  I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant but I'd sure hate to find out after the HSG that I am.  That would really, really upset me.

Otherwise, I'm doing good.  Hoping that the Clomid from last cycle still has some influence over my body and allows me to ovulate and begin AF naturally this month.  I'm terrified of Provera and do NOT want to take it.

Since the hubs is working today (makin' that overtime!!), I'm going to prepare for my Stampin' Up! workshop.  It's scheduled for next Sat.  That means I get to play with glue, glitter, scissors, ink and paper!  woohoo!!  Betcha didn't even know I was into that! 

Enjoy your weekend everyone! Read More......

2.19.2010

Calling for Recipes!

Meghan over at "Finding Family With Empty Arms" is collecting recipes for a fundraiser to help support a new organization she's starting called Lost Stork Foundation.  This organization will provide financial assistance to families suffering from fertility issues.  She needs less than 60 more recipes to reach her goal of 175 by April 1st.  You can leave your recipe here as a comment (and I will be sure she gets it) or you may visit her site, and leave it with her. 

Thank you so much for you help!!  Please retweet/repost/reblog -- whatever you can do to help get the word out! Read More......

2.18.2010

Stupid Cyst!

This stupid cyst I have is really a pain in the ovary.  Literally.  And last night I had a headache from hell.  And I had the worst night of sleep that I've had in a very long time. 

Now explain this to me, would this cyst interfere with AF so much that it's almost nonexistent?  If you remember, at the beginning of this cycle I had a day of brown spotting that I didn't count as cd1 since it wasn't a bright red flow.  Cd1 I had that, but it was still only when I wiped and usually only when I had a BM (which I tend to have more of when I'm on AF).  cd2 was a bit heavier of a flow but not much.  Still never soaked a single pad like I normally do several times per day.  cd3 & 4 was basically light brown barely there spotting.  Today, cd5 it's pretty much gone completely.  I've never had a period like this. 

And my bbs are SO sore.  They usually feel better by cd1, not this cycle.

This stupid cyst sucks.  The only good thing is it gives us time to get our ducks in order before moving on with this new RE and his grand plan

Speaking of the grand plan, I found out yesterday that our insurance covers up to $12,500 for a lifetime of fertility rx and treatments.  It even includes IVF but I am really hoping we won't have to even consider that option. 

Now, Celine's story is getting ready to be on GMA so I've gotta skidaddle.  Read More......

Happy Birthday Erica!!

Happy Birthday Erica!!!
May your day be very special!

Please go by her site and send her your love!
Read More......

2.17.2010

1st Appt. with the RE

I'm sorry I didn't update my blog yesterday afternoon but we didn't get home until very late last night.  We ended up going to dinner & a movie with my family.

The appt. yesterday went pretty well!  I really like The Jones Institute, everyone we encountered was very, very kind and helpful.  My husband was able to take off from work to go with me, this was the first time he had attended any of my appts.  They ended up having both of us fill out new patient paperwork and they treated us both like patients, not just me.  I really liked that, it helped Chris feel more involved in the process.

We had a consultation with an associate doctor, she wanted to know "our story", how long we've been ttc, what we've tried, she wanted to discuss the meds I've been on and how I dealt with them, etc, etc, etc.  She had the bloodwork and information from my appts. with both OBGYNs I have seen in the last 6 months.  She kept saying all of my bloodwork looked "good."  I asked her about the AMH and she said that it's within the normal range.  I then asked about the Clomid Challenge that was done this last cycle and she said it looked good, too.  In fact, she mentioned that Dr. O may want to put me back on Clomid since I've been ovulating and my bloodwork looked so good.  Why was my OBGYN telling me that all my bloodwork was bad??  That my ovarian reserve was low border-line and that the Clomid Challenge shows I don't respond to Clomid???  That's why I'm with an RE now.

She had us go down the hall for an ultrasound.  Dr. O finally joined us and he said my uterus looks really good (yay!) and then one ovary (can't remember which one) had a few small cysts, nothing to worry about.  The other ovary I have a 4cm cyst.  Yes, I said centimeter.  I got dressed and we joined Dr. O in his office for more disscussion.

Dr. O said the cyst will prevent him from prescribing any meds this month.  He hopes that it will dissolve on its own.  He said it's good news that 50mg of Clomid made me ovulate, that the 100mg was probably just too much stimulation for me and caused the cyst.  I didn't have any last cycle after 50mg so we can only assume.

Anyway - He told me he wanted all of my bloodwork done again (LH, FSH, Estradiol, and a few others) since it happened to be cd3.  He discussed with us our options and the plan he had for us.

We discussed Letrizole (Femera) & Follitropin Alfa (Gonal F Injectible).  Based on what our insurance covers, we will decide which to do beginning next cycle.  Hopefully I will ovulate this cycle on my own (am continuing to chart!) and I won't have to worry about taking Provera to bring AF on at the end of the cycle.  I had a terrible experience with Provera years ago.

Starting next cycle, he wants to add Ovidrel to the mix, to trigger ovulation and Progesterone after ovulation.  He gave me like 10 samples of the progesterone plus a prescription.  The progesterone is Crinone (anyone use this one before?).  He wants me to do it 2x/day.

I fessed up and told Dr. O that I don't take my metformin regularly because it makes me so sick.  So he told me to stop taking it (odd I thought - but I was happy to oblige) and he told me just to take prenatals daily at this point.

I am scheduled for an HSG next Monday at 1:30.  He said it's just protocal for new patients and has no reason to believe there's anything wrong.  I've got my antibiotic to begin taking the day before so I'm set. 


Dr. O told my DH to make an appt. to have a semen analysis done.  They managed to get him an appt. like 10 minutes after we were finished with Dr. O so we took care of that, too.  It'll take 7-10 business days for the results of that to come back. 

This cycle, he gave us the green light.  He said we can do timed intercourse and are welcome to get pregnant, it just won't be with any meds.  I'm really ok with that, it gives us a chance to get all of this bloodwork back and so we know for sure where we stand with insurance so we can make a decision.

If we go with Femera, we'll be monitoring regularly with ultrasounds and bloodwork (pretty similar to what I was doing with the Clomid).  If we do the injections, I'll be up there much more often for monitoring.  (I say "up there" because it's about an hour north of here)

So - I think that's the full update, I hope I didn't miss anything.  I am feeling very hopeful that Dr. O can get us pregnant :) Read More......

2.15.2010

I WON!!!!! I won, I won, I won, I won!!!

Remember when I entered this giveaway recently that Kate over at BustedPlumbing Reviews was hosting?

The prize is an iPod Shuffle pre-loaded with the Circle+Bloom fertility relaxation program... and guess what?  I just found out that I WON!!!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

How exciting!!!!!!!!!!! I never win anything!

Thank you Kate & Circle+Bloom! Read More......

More Bad News *UPDATED with some good news*

On Jan 19th, when I last saw my dr. and got the awful news about the Clomid Challenge, he had blood draw to test my AMH.
Anti-mullerian hormone, or AMH, is a protein released by the ovaries and is related to the development of follicles in the ovary. Blood work to check AMH levels may be done as a part of fertility testing.

AMH levels correspond to the number of antral follicles, which can be used to indicate the number of eggs available in the ovaries. A very low level of AMH may indicate poor ovarian reserves. A very high level of AMH may correspond to PCOS.
I just got a phone call from his nurse with the results.  She told me he said I'm "borderline" and need to make an appt. with an RE asap to discuss the results.  I can't afford an appt. with an RE.  I finally got her to spill the beans and give me the actual result and she said it's 1.9

I have no clue what that means and all the information online about it is vague.  Does anyone have any information about what my results could mean?  Is this just another reason to add to the list of why I'm not getting pregnant?


*UPDATE*
After freaking out, I decided to go ahead and call the Jones Institute for Reproductive Medicine in Norfolk, Virginia (about an hour from home).  I wanted to know what it would cost to at least have a consult with an RE.  The lady who I spoke with was so nice and willing to assist me.  She told me that the consult is $190 but that Blue Cross/Blue Shield covers that and all lab tests!!! 

Then, she gave me even better news - she has an appt that just came available for tomorrow @ 9am!  And it's with their DIRECTOR!  She said that IUI would cost $195 plus $110 for the wash so that's not nearly as bad as I was thinking it would be.  We could work with that.  I was so relieved when she started setting up the appt for tomorrow that I began bawling on the phone!  I'm certain that she is used to that kind of response but it is such a relief to actually be able to get in with an RE and to actually be seen so quickly.  How's that for service? 

I know that I'm just opening a whole new can of worms by going to see an RE but at least we'll be moving in a positive direction.  I may not be doing soy this cycle after all.  I may just end up starting injects if that's what he recommends.  *fingers crossed*  Please pray for me! Read More......

2.14.2010

V-Day Surprise

Oh what a great way to wake up on Valentine's Day - with AF staring you in the face after playing games with me all day yesterday.  Well Happy V-Day to you too, ya bitch. Read More......

2.13.2010

Well....

About noon today (Sat) I went to the bathroom and there was AF, light flow but bright red on the tissue.

Then, a couple hours later, I went to the bathroom and there was nothing on the pad, nothing when I wiped and nothing when I checked "up there" (tmi??).

Another couple of hours passed and I went back to the bathroom and there was a small smear of light brown on the tissue and nothing on the pad.  WTF???

So I took a $ store HPT at about 11pm (because that was the first chance I had after buying it - we were at my parents all evening) and it was a BFN.

No cramping, nothing.  My bbs are still sore (they usually feel normal again once AF arrives) and I've been full of energy today.

So now what?  I bought an extra HPT so I can do FMU when I wake tomorrow.  This is so odd, it is certainly not normal for me.  And it's a BIG CRUEL JOKE to play on someone who is trying so hard to get pregnant, who wants nothing more than to have a baby.  It's not bad enough when month after month AF arrives, but then you gotta throw in the late arrivals, spotting and negative tests.  Oh what fun it is! Read More......

D'oh!

So this morning, my temp is 1/10 of a degree higher than yesterday. 
Today is day 1 of my missed period. 
Yes, I said MISSED PERIOD
And I'm a complete idiot dumbass stupid f*ck moron. 
I  was so convinced AF was arriving this morning that GUESS WHAT?!?! 
I didn't buy an HPT for this morning!!!
PS: I want to say thank you to each one of you for your kind and supporting words of encouragement you left over the last couple of days.  I never imagined anyone would read my blog much less come back and read it but what I really never imagined was all the support I'd get from complete strangers.  Thank you, from the VERY bottom of my heart.  I love you all!
Read More......

Happy Birthday Aleh!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEH!!!
Please visit Aleh today and wish her a special day!
Read More......

2.12.2010

Goodbye

I'm crushed
My temp tanked to the EXACT same temp it has been on the last day of my LP the prior 2 cycles. 

Today is the last day of hope before my period starts. 

It's all over
After 3 cycles of Clomid I've reached a brick wall.

Why does money even have to be a factor here? Read More......

2.11.2010

The End

At this point of my cycle (15 dpo, 2 days from testing) I am beginning to become really worried.  I've seen a handful of women on the SC forum and on other blogs get BFPs just this week.  It gives me hope but it just reminds me that I am probably not going to get mine.  The really scary part is if this isn't our cycle, we are on a forced break for a long, long time (I'm talking years).  I've done 3 rounds of Clomid and my first doctor didn't want me going beyond one cycle (he thought I was allergic to it) and my 2nd doctor did bloodwork early this cycle (Clomid Challenge) that determined the Clomid should have never gone beyond the 1st month because I just don't respond to it. 

The Clomid did help me regulate my cycle though.  I had not seen AF since Dec 3 2008 then after taking Clomid Nov 3 - 7 2009, AF arrived Dec 5 2009!!  Without provera!  That's exciting ... but will my body go back to nonfunctioning after I am off the Clomid?  That's just depressing.

I can't stop temping, it's an obsession, an addiction, something that gives me a reason to wake up in the morning but I'm sure it'll just drive me crazy because it won't be normal.

My life has been completely taken over by my fertility the since mid-October 2009.  That's on top of the 10 years I've known about it but didn't do much to help it.  What am I going to do in 2 days when I no long have the hope that *this* could be my month?  What am I going to do in 2 days when I realize that my dream of being a mom has probably just been swept out from under me forever? Read More......

Happy Birthday Chelle!!!


A Very Happy Birthday to Chelle! 
Please stop by her site and wish her a special day!
Read More......

2.10.2010

I'm still in!

14dpo and my temp jumped up from that low point it was at yesterday.  Phew.  This 2ww has had me in heartattack mode more than once!  Good thing it'll be over in just a few short days.  Look!

Read More......

2.09.2010

13dpo...

...and my temp dropped below the coverline.  My LP should still have 3 more days left to it so I guess it's possible the temp can go back up again but what little hope I had has really been crushed. 

In the past, I've had another fresh new cycle to look forward to but not in this case.  If we don't get our BFP this cycle...
 we're out
For a long time
Until further notice

Right now, we just cannot afford seeing an RE, we cannot afford the injections and IUI the last Dr. recommended.  So now what do we do? Read More......

2.08.2010

Phew!

I was really beginning to get nervous about my temps. With my LP being 16 days, I'm waiting for 17dpo to test so I was alittle concerned when on 10dpo, my temp dropped and 11dpo it remained low. But as of this morning (12dpo) it's back up again!  I'm still in the game!!!


I know my chart still looks a little funny but as compared to my last 3 cycles, it looks pretty normal for me.  Now let's just see if I can stand to wait another 5 days to test!!  Ugh, why does my 2ww have to be 17 days???
Read More......

2.05.2010

An Award!

Look! 


I'm so excited!
I have never received a blogging award before and this morning I learned that I have been nominated by both Waiting and Secret D for the same award - how cool is that?

So, the following are the instructions for accepting this nomination:
  • Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
  • Copy the award and place it in your blog.
  • Link the person who nominated you for this award.
  • Tell us 7 interesting things about you.
  • Nominate 7 bloggers.
  • Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.

 7 Interesting Things About Myself
  1. I grew up as a military brat; I was born in NC and moved to Alaska when I was four.  Every 3 to 4 years we moved back and forth between the two.  I ended up spending my senior year of high school in Alaska after the first 3 years of high school in NC so I have two graduating classes I'm a member of and twice the friends!
  2. I have visited all but 5 of the 50 states.  Traveling as a child, we always took the family van and drove.  We never flew to our destination.  I saw more of the U.S. and Western Canada by the time I was 12 than most adults have in their entire life.
  3. I'm a musician.  I play several different instruments and have since I was 11 years old.  I even have a treble clef tattooed behind my right ear.
  4. I've been married 3 times (and it was all by the time I was 27!).  The first was right out of high school at 18 and lasted five years (emotional abuse situation); the 2nd was a rebound and just 2 months after my divorce we were married; the relationship lasted about 2 months.  I took a lot of time off from the dating scene and reintroduced myself to me and found TRUE love (the real kind!) when I wasn't even looking.  It took me almost two years after falling in love with him to get married and now after 2+ years of marriage, I cannot imagine my life without him.  If it wasn't for all the crap I have been through, I never would have met my husband.  Everything really does happen for a reason, good or bad.
  5. I have 5 tattoos but one is completely covered by another.  I got it done with an ex and couldn't bare seeing it so I had it covered with a very large naked fairy on my back.  It was fully exposed during my wedding which I'm sure bothered a lot of people.
  6. I started trying to get pregnant (read: I came off the pill) when I was just shy of 19, in Nov 1999.  There were some years in the middle that I was actively trying to not get pregnant but for the most part, for the last 10 years off/on I've been wanting to start a family.  I've gone through many, many doctors to get to the point I'm at and I feel like I'm still at the beginning.
  7. I'm really not a girlie girl.  I like jeans, comfy tees and a pair of flip flops over anything feminine.  I rarely wear makeup although when I do, it's Mary Kay.  The only real feminine hobby I have is rubber stamping.  I'm a Stampin' Up! demonstrator and can spend hours at a time hand creating greeting cards for those that I love.
Now that you know a little bit more about me, I am going to nominate 7 women for this awesome award.  I know this award has been around the block probably a few times so I apologize if I nominate you and you've already received it ...

  1. Jennifer @ Soul Cyster
  2. AplusB @ A + B, Waiting for C
  3. Natalie @ A Mum @ Heart
  4. Jill @ Hubby, Baby and Me... would make 3
  5. Jenicini @ Trying to Get Knocked Up By Another Man
  6. Chelle @ Once An Infertile
  7. Susannah @ Painting Chef
So if you're on this list, I'll be notifying you :) Read More......

2.04.2010

Oh well, she's not human

DisclaimerI'm pissed.

One of the main reasons I blog about my troubles with infertility and am an active member of the SoulCysters forum is because of the compassion and understanding that we all share with one another.  There is something special about sharing your ups and downs and all things in between with someone who knows what you are going through. 

One of the main reasons I don't talk about it much on my FB page is because most people don't understand.  True, it isn't their fault they don't have problems conceiving but I do believe it's in their power to be just a little bit understanding or compassionate when it comes to situations like mine or yours.

That said, why the HELL would someone say "oh well" when I mention to them I'm having troubles ttc??  I cannot wrap my mind around what could possibly allow a person (a woman!) to say something like this to me.  Especially when her own daughter has had trouble getting pregnant (she just announced she's 8 wks along).

"Oh well" is appropriate in many situations.  For example:

  • When it rains on a Saturday, I often say "oh well"
  • When my favorite prime time tv show gets pre-empted by a speech from the president, I might say "oh well"
  • When my dog chooses to sleep next to my husband instead of me, I would say "oh well"

But when someone asks me when I plan to start a family and I tell them I've ass deep in fertility treatments and we're working on it as best we can - the appropriate response is NOT "oh well..."  Are you stupid?  Oh wait, you must not be human.

Have any of you ever seen the t-shirt that reads "who are all these kids and why are they calling me mom"?  Yeah, I had to sit across the table from that for an hour this morning while trying to explain to her why it's neglectful to not be meeting the needs of her young child. 

It's only 10am and it's going to be a GREAT day.

On a more positive note: my temps are looking marvelous this morning.  My hope has increased so I guess it's time to update the ol' hopes-of-baby meter to a '7'.

Note the change to my blog title.  I was laying in bed last night trying to think of a new name (I didn't like Journey to Mommyhood, it's too boring) so I thought of "Confessions of a TTC-a-holic" because let's face it, it's all I think about, it's all I do anymore and it's all I want.  So yeah.  It fits.  And I'm making a lot of confessions on this page.  Telling all my tales of what's going on down there is not something I do to just anybody.  Ya'll should feel special! Read More......

2.03.2010

Circle+Bloom Giveaway!

If you haven't heard of Circle+Bloom, you should definitely check them out!  It's a relaxation program specifically geared to de-stressing us infertiles. 
And while you're at it, check out this review by Busted Plumbing then follow the directions to be entered to win a FREE iPod Shuffle preloaded with the Circle+Bloom program!  You can also download a free trial!


Don't forget to sign up for my Birthday Club here
If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here!

Read More......

2.02.2010

My first Scrap Kit!

 have been wanting to get into creating digital scrapbooking kits, I've always had a knack for digital graphics.  It's always been a hobby of mine to make digital images so I figured why not?  Here's my first try at creating a digital scrap kit, if you would like to have the kit for yourself, please leave a comment and I'll send you the link where you can download it. 



The name of the kit is "My Valentine"
and includes the following:
6 patterned papers
1 sheet of vellum
4 buttons
1 verticle staple
1 horizontal staple
4 ribbons
1 sraight pin
1 curly embellishment
1 flower embellisment
1 heart embellishment
3 text embellishments

This kit is for personal use only!  It may not be shared or redistributed.  You may not claim the work as your own.

You may use the kit to create digital scrapbook pages and headers for your personal blog.  Resizing the images is allowed but other alterations is not.

Don't forget to sign up for my Birthday Club
If you don't know what I'm talking about,
click here!

Read More......